And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
