i already hear my dad disowning me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
