I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
