spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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