you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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