I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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