Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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