Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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