and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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