I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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