walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
nutella sex= disaster
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
