i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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