All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Randomize