I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
