I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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