he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
