woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
