What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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