I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize