____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
