Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize