I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do vagina's smell?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
