You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
