So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
