I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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