Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
