Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
