also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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