Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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