My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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