even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
