I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
