HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My ass is underappreciated
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
