i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
