Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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