whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
