I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
