i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
