Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
