you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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