he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
