he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
