Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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