Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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