I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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