I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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