one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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