you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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