If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
