I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
