white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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