The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
