it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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