:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
