Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
false alarm, still single
Randomize