:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
