I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
