At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
