is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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