I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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