i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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