is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
